I want you to close your eyes and … on second thought, leave your eyes open. It will make it easier to read this. Think about the evening of October 31st. Maybe you are 10 years old and home from your major score as your pillow case or plastic jack-o-latern is overflowing with deliciousness. Since there is more candy than space in your stomach, you have to be effecient and capitalize on the best of the batch. Snickers, Reese’s peanutbutter cups, and M&Ms surely became top priority. Maybe some others work their way to the middle of the pack, but you know what always made their way to the trade pile so you could ucker your sibling or to that bowl of leftovers that would get pitched by Christmas: Almond Joys and Heath bars.
No one in the history of freewill has actively choosen to eat these candy bars. The way I figure, these “candy bars” are only available as a way to maintain blood sugar for diabetics. Only Almond Joys and Heath Bars can make hypoglycemia seem like the better option. So why then, in their infinite wisdom, did the fine folks of Dunk decide to add Almond Joy and Heath bar to the swirl options?
Maybe they know that people like me have a sickness. Whenever there is a new option on the scene, I have to try it. My name is Eric, and I’m a Dunkin-holic and I need another drink.
Day 1: Medium iced coffee with whole milk and Almond Joy Swirl. This drink was suprisingly good. The coconut and almond really shine through while only a hint of chocolate/ mocha flavoring make its way into the beverage. The whole milk was the perfect way to bring out the flavors that tasted authentic rather than artificial. I can’t say that I prefer this swirl to the Oreo swirl of last year (read my well-received review here), but it stand out well.
Day 2: Medium iced coffe with whole mild and Heath Bar Swirl. Can I just say that I’m not exactly sure what a Heath Bar is. I mean, I know it isn’t good. Is it toffee? If so, what’s toffee? Is that like caramel’s evil twin? The forgetten step-child of noughat? Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say. So, it’s sugar and butter, but it still manages to taste bad. I don’t get it. Unsurpisingly, the Heath Bar Swirl is as terrible as its namesake. The biggest complaint is that the flavors just do not vibe with my tongue as they taste completely artificial much like the Chips Ahoy Swirl from last year.. Nothing exists in nature that tastes like this. Not even my free donut could undo the taste. I could only drink this much …
Consume.Review.Repeat. gives the Almond Joy Swirl 8.8 sometimes-you-feel-like-a’s out of 10.
Consume.Review.Repeat. gives the Heath Bar Swirl 3.2 sometimes-you-don’t’s out of 10