Sometimes going to Dunkin Donuts is like going to a movie theater to watch the latest summer blockbuster. You know dinosaurs aren’t really wreaking havoc in a dino-zoo on some far away island so you need to suspend disbelief to enjoy the experience. If you can get yourself into the right mindset, you can sit back, relax and go along for the ride. Turn on your eyes and ears. Turn off your brain and have a great time.
When you roll into your local DD and you see the posters proclaiming the deliciousness of a Dunkin iced coffee with an Oreo “swirl,” you don’t want to overthink it. In fact, you don’t want to think at all. You don’t want to consider the how or why or who or how many calories. You just walk over to the counter and say, “one medium iced coffee with milk and Oreo, please.” Then you wait for two minutes to pay because spending $2.50 at 1:58 pm is pretty dumb when you could spend $0.99 at 2:00 pm.
Looking at the completed concoction, disbelief is easy to suspend. Somehow, even with the milk, the drink is blacker than black coffee. I got the feeling that this drink is so dark and so dense that even light cannot escape from its gravitational pull. Did a star go supernova and collapse on itself? (For those keeping track that is my first physics reference. Go me!)
It didn’t look good, and before I took my first sip, I figured that I had wasted $1.05 (after tax) on this beverage that would surely compare to drinking a muddy puddle. Shockingly, my first drag on the orange straw was better than expected. It was not terrible. It was actually pretty good. Despite its appearance, it wasn’t as thick as the La Brea tar pits, and surprisingly, it tasted like an Oreo. Weird, right?
Again, not trying to overthink it, my brain was having trouble processing the information. It tastes like an Oreo with none of the grit or texture that typically accompanies the treat. My teeth would be free from the black bits. And not that i was planning on brushing my teeth, but if I did, I feel confident that my toothbrush would not be blackened by the act. The milk helped to add some creaminess to the drink, but next time I’d probably go for the full-on cream and screw the extra calories for the authentic Oreo experience.
Before I wrap up this startling review, I must restate that this treat barely counts as a coffee-related beverage. The Oreo flavor is so strong that you cannot taste coffee at all. Calling this coffee is like calling a lump of coal a diamond. Sure, they share some elemental similarities, but unless Superman is going to squeeze it in the palm of his hand, the coal is still coal and the diamond is still a diamond.
That being said, treat yourself to a mindless good time at your local Dunkin Donuts.
Consume.Review.Repeat. gives Dunkin Donuts Oreo iced coffee 7.5 Double Stufs out of 10.