Cinnabon Mocha Chillattas Review

By | June 11, 2016


Let’s face it. Vacation starts as soon as you arrive at the airport. You checked your bags, parked the car while being sure to note the row and section of your spot (to avoid repeating mistakes of the past), pushed your way through security, and though I may not be fond of the destination, I am doing my best to enjoy the journey.

Ah the airport, it gives you access to an unknown world only the masters of fantasy and sci-fi could image. A woman asking if it is am or pm, people eating burgers and drinking beers before the sun comes up, and storefronts not seen in my native land make up the midway point between here and there.

Cinnabon? They still have these? This is an actual thing still? I believe I am best acquainted with their logo adorning my favorite Pillsbury goo in a tube, but this franchise is a relic of a time forgotten in the western Pennsylvania burgh that I call home. With my carryon in tow, there was a noteworthy piece of signage that caught my eye – Cinnabon Mocha Chillattas.

Ah yes! Anytime you see two separate names mushed together to become one, you know you are in business. Brangelina. Froyo. Kimya. HoCho. Bennifer. Chillattas. How could I lose?

With two available sizes, a small would surely be enough to soothe my pre-flight caffeine needs, and hell, I think a 5-pack of CinnaSweeties would be the icing on the cake. That’s great because they come with actual icing. As always, skip the whipped cream to maintain some semblance of manhood with your drink.

The CinnaSweeties are exactly what you would expect. Doughnut holes sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and rebranded to exist within the Cinnabon ecosystem. Nuke those bad boys for seven seconds, and I’ve got something to fill the stomach and surprise the kids. Worth the price.

The main attraction, of course, is the drink. The small was a nice 16 oz size that looked fairly unassuming. Creamy and brown – Let’s drink it down.

Now, I don’t know a lot about milk. I do understand that there are several varieties. Count with me. Skim, 1%, 2%, and whole. I mean, I know that some fancy people get into 0.5% and things of this nature, but those people seem incredibly annoying, so I’ll stick to the basics. That’s four varieties of milk, but I think Cinnabon created a fifth. It’s their own unique type: 92% milk. 92% yo! Take it away Special K.


Have you ever left your vanilla ice cream sit out for, oh I don’t know, say 48 hours before deciding to throw in some chocolate syrup and a splash of a quasi-coffee-type liquid before mixing it together, pouring it into a clear cup, and sticking a straw in it? Well, the geniuses at Cinnabon did.

So, how does it taste? Um … that’s a dumb question. It tastes awesome. I would say it’s Bon, very Bon. It’s melted ice cream in a cup. Thick and delicious without being so sweet you imagined your dental hygienist scolding you. Would you expect it to taste any other way?

Now on the topic of calories. Don’t concern yourself. You’re on vacation (At least I am.) Live it up. Indulge.

Consume.Review.Repeat. gives Cinnabon’s Mocha Chilllattas 7.6 straight-from-the-udder’s out of 10.

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