Batch Review

By | June 23, 2017

What are guys into? Easy: Babes, brews, biceps, bros, and Batch. Do you Batch, bro? I Batch. I Batch hard.

I didn’t always Batch, though, because Batch used to confuse me. I knew I liked Batch, but each time I stopped in, I couldn’t figure it out. Products adorn every corner, and fresh foods are being prepared and sold. I’ve never been in a place like Batch, and this started the problem my male brain felt the need to solve.

What are you, Batch? Are you a restaurant? A local market? A home store? Or some sinister scheme with the sole purpose of making my head explode?

The shop cycles. It has seasons. It revolves around the rotating schedule of food that the shop produces and resets each Tuesday morning at 10am. I didn’t know what Batch was, but I knew I knew how to find out. I was going to embark on a grueling feat of gastronomy. I was going to eat my way through Batch.  This is what I found:

Tuesday: Soup Day. I’m not the biggest soup-bro, so the idea of a hot bowl on a hotter summer day was not the most appealing way to begin my week. Luckily, the temperature dipped as I went to pick up my smoked sausage, white bean, and kale dinner, which I took home in a large mason jar.

This soup surprised me. Rather than being heavy and dense on a summer day, it was light and balanced. The veggies were sliced and cooked perfectly, and the soup couldn’t have tasted any fresher. At $9.75, there was some sticker shock, but I dished some out for the wife, and still had enough for two full bowls. That’s a lot of soup for $10.

Wednesday: Stuffed Breads Day. For those that don’t know, a stuffed bread is a bread with … well, stuff stuffed in it. This was my first ever stuffed bread, and I was an instant fan. I picked up a loaf before hanging with my lovely offspring at SEBCO Pool.

As the kids were splashing and diving, I was in my glory poolside breaking off chunks of gluteny goodness. Bites were loaded with Canadian bacon and Monterey jack cheese. Some bites were only bread still warm from the oven. Every bite was amazing. For $5, a stuffed bread is an awesome lunch option. Be sure to bring back your mason jar from last night’s soup for a $0.50 savings.

Thursday: Soup Day Number Two. I loved my Tuesday soup, but Thursday’s vegetable soup appealed more to my wife than me. A bro can only have so much soup. Have no fear, though. Batch offers two salads to choose from each day. The salads are prepped and chilled. You can just grab and go. Thursday night, I choose the strawberry feta over a bed of spinach.

Yes. Those are pecans you see in there. I took my salad to the streets of Saxonburg to enjoy Mingle on Main just as the clouds parted. Surrounded by ribs, pulled pork, and meatballs bigger than my fist, I was feeling good about eating well. At $7, the salad is not cheap but high-quality and large enough to be filling.

Friday: Banana Breads. Friday at Batch is a sweet bread day. No, not those sweetbreads. Leave the pancreas at home. Banana breads are front and center for Fridays with chocolate chip and double chocolate options in the mix.  I went for a chocolate chip and double chocolate.

The kids devoured the chocolate chip leaving most of the double chocolate for me. Dense, chocolatey, and moist without being a brick, this Friday night bread hit the sweet spot. At $4.00 for a small loaf, the value exceeds the price.

Friday: Bonus Bread. Bros don’t know the difference between challah and pumpernickel, but I can spot an enticing bread when I see (smell) one. Even though I was only there for banana bread, I left with extra soup and a hunk of focaccia bread.

 

This bread was stellar. Garlic and Italian flavors were the perfect complements to the pasta I whipped up at home. Still warm, the aroma poured from every nook. For $2.75 ($2.75!), this bread made my dinner infinitely more satisfying and successful.

Saturday: Quiche Day. If you Batch, you gotta quiche. Do you even quiche, bro? If you’re not into Batch quiches, you need to rethink what your life has become and realize that there is still time to turn over a new leaf. After all, real men eat quiche.

Constantly combined with novel, savory ingredients, these quiches were filled with 1. buffalo chicken and 2. prosciutto and spinach. These egg pies are where it’s at. Bring home one for you and another for your spotter. At $4.00 each, you can afford two.

Conclusions:

Their Facebook page says Batch is a home goods store, which makes sense since you can purchase clothing, pillows, jewelry, and other miscellaneous home items. But Batch is also a local market that offers jams, honey, sauces, and other foods. And Batch is also a restaurant that cooks up a variety of alluring delicacies.

What is Batch? Batch is homegrown and homemade. Batch is all of the above. Turns out there’s no need to put a label on Batch.

Batch is sweet, bro. Go get your Body by Batch.

Consume.Review.Repeat. gives ‘Batch’ 9.6 Boo-yas out of 1o.

 

 

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